My friend Kevin tells me that he’s making good on a New Year’s resolution and “reading again.” Then he quickly rattles off a list of authors he’s finished recently that would make any honors comparative lit professor proud: E.L. Doctorow, J.M. Coetzee, and…
Okay, I confess I do not remember the rest of the tomes. Each impressive title he ticked off was such a reminder of how much I don’t read these days, I had to stop listening — La la la … I can’t hear you! — or I’d want to take a header out of my office window. Jealous much? Yeah, maybe. Just a tad.
See, I love to read. And once upon a time, I read volumes. I’d find an author I loved and devour everything they’d written. There was a John Irving phase. An Edith Wharton period. For a while I was seriously hooked on Gloria Naylor and Howard Fast. I even — though I’m embarrassed to admit it now — had flings with Stephen King and (blush!) Danielle Steele. And okay, okay, on the recommendation of a college friend, I also consumed the Harry Potter series en toto, like a fat girl tearing through a Whitman sampler. All right … so my taste isn’t always exactly high brow. At least the books weren’t made of cardboard and filled with pictures. (Except for … well, maybe … The Better Built Bondage Book. But that was strictly educational.)
Alas, my read-for-my-own-pleasure days were predominantly pre-child. When Fletcher was born, my friend Joel gifted me with Haiku Mama, whose very prescient tagline goes “Because 17 syllables is all you have time to read.” Sigh … I usually don’t even manage that. These days, I consider myself extra special lucky if I get 10 uninterrupted minutes to skim a Parents or Redbook. And usually those moments are stolen in the bathroom, with sudden — and completely invented — attacks of diarrhea or constipation. Oy! The lengths I’ll go to just to get through a “Modern Love” column in the Sunday Times! Back in the pre-Fletcher days, Sunday mornings were for languidly perusing the Times … under the umbrella … by the pool … on the patio … with a French press of French roast steaming beside me. Now, I read frantically and on the sly — grabbing a page here and there — like an adolescent boy rushing to “finish” with his Playboy before someone bangs on the door. Though since Fletcher learned how to turn the handle and roust me from my commodal sanctuary — Mah-meeeeee! Whatcha doing?Are you going poop or pee? — those moments, too, are becoming exceptionally rare.
Even perusing my friends’ bookshelf pages on Facebook is an exercise in envy and frustration. Jessica is deep into Broken For You. Jeff is bured in The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University. Cliff is paging through Aldous Huxley’s Point, Counter Point. Kelli is actually reading … Moby Dick. To a once-avid reader, this is like being the diabetic at Magnolia Bakery: You can appreciate how scrumptious those cupcakes are, but … No Cupcakes For You!
So, the last actual book I read? Trucks Roll. It’s a primary-colored paen to the massive gas-guzzling, hardly eco-friendly 18-wheelers that haul “books and bulldozers, dolls and clocks …through mountains, over rivers, past towns … around blue sky curves through rain pouring down.” The book has about 170 words in it. I finished the whole thing — aloud, natch — while Fletcher gnawed through his bagel and cream cheese this morning. (Hey, it was a whole wheat bagel with low-fat cream cheese —what kind of mother do you think I am?!)
If you’ve got kids (boys!) in your house, chances are you know what I’m talking about. And chances are equally good that the novels and nonfiction that used to pile up on your nightstand have been shoved aside by these:
*Green Eggs & Ham, The Cat In The Hat … really, anything from the Dr. Seuss oeuvre.
*The complete Curious George collection — even the paperbacks repackaged from the PBS show.
*Anything from the construction genre. Besides Trucks Roll, house favorites include My Truck Is Stuck, Truck Town, I’m Dirty, Bob The Builder (Duh!) and Big & Noisy Trucks and Diggers, which — bonus!! — comes with buttons that make honking, jack-hammering, crushing, clanging, banging construction sounds throughout the story. We call it Migraine in a Book.
*Thomas The Tank Engine. Count your blessings if you only have the books. There are also tons of mind-numbing DVDs (those with George Carlin narrating, excepted), not to mention the miles of track and bazillions of toy trains and stations to go with it!) You can literaly drown in Thomas crap.
Any and every book about dinosaurs, like the brilliantly fun Dinosaur Circus, which has the added attraction of allowing you to customize the story so that your kid’s the hero (available from StoryTots).
Goodnight — anything. Moons to gorillas.
If You Give A Moose A Muffin … A Mouse A Cookie … A Pig A Pancake … A Cat A Cupcake … A Mom A Martini (Okay, this last one’s not a kids book. But I find having one (or several) makes the kid lit go down easier.)
Hippos Go Berserk, Horns To Toes And In Between, But Not The Hippopotamus, and just about any other screed by Sandra Boynton, who (like the good folks at Pixar) creates children’s books that parents can read again and again, without wanting to dip a syringe into the black tar heroin. And for that we are forever grateful.
So … what’s in your library? Post a comment … or email me!
[Oh, by the way, the lovely photo, above, is by jpmgrafika]
HEY — DID YOU MISS THESE?
*And There Were Three In The Bed …
Library? What library? You mean the shredded pieces of paper that my children color on? That library? It’s on the fridge.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Thanks so much for visiting! I’ve got one of those “libraries” too!
Norine
Coming over from SITS and there are 5 Dr Hippo books that have just found their way in my little one’s lib.
Come bunny hop over to my blog, cos I’m giving away 5 books in the series. There are 3 other giveaways running and would love for you to enter them :>
http://energizerbunnysmommyreports.blogspot.com/
I have learned do not drink a Dr Suess
Well, reading Fox in Socks does get more challenging the more martinis you have.
Thanks so much for commenting!
I loved the line about Playboy. And are you are totally on to something…you could start with If You Give a Mom a Martini, progress to If You Give Papa a Tequila Popper…
Thanks! I sooo wish I’d come up with that, but it’s an actual book — If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself by Lyss Stern and Julie Klappas http://tinyurl.com/p38x8a — but I definitely think YOU’RE on to something with the tequila poppers!
This comment came in via email:
I’ve read some of your articles, then signed up for your blog.. .
loved the post re books you read..
It dawned on me that you might be interested in a book out in Sept that
I just finished – as a review copy: NurtureShock.
I think it will be a blockbuster many of us parents – and will inspire some parents and school administrators to make changes.
I wrote about it on FB + Twitter – felt that moved by it
Kare Anderson
Say itBetterCenter, LLC
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com
I love to read, too– not much time for that with my little one! I still try to read at night or during movie time when I can.
I came by to welcome you to SITS! We’re happy to have you with us!
I stopped by to welcome you to SITS! It’s great to have you in the SITStahood:0)
I have toddlers so we are always reading Dr Seuss, but my eldest toddler loves the Eye Spy books
Stopping by to Welcome you to SITS!! 
We have tons of books, well read, missing pages, well loved books.
Just stopped by from SITS
lol The children’s books have been long gone until 20 months ago when my grandchild was born. Now I find kiddie books in my living room once again. I am still able to get in some though. I have recently read Eat, Pray, Love, The Shack and will be starting soon on Captivating and Eragon. I so enjoy reading too!
I hopped over to welcome you to SITS! I am glad you’ve joined up with us!
Hi – Visiting from SITS! My daughter has a massive collection of books and it continues to grow because I love to read to her, and I like variety! But we are using the library now too, which is saving me some money! I mostly read fiction – suspense/mystery’s are my favorite. But I recently read the non-fiction “The Middle Place”, by Kelly Corrigan which I thought was wonderful. Have a great week!
I’m just about to finish “Look Me In The Eyes” by John Robison, brother of Augusten Burroughs. Excellent read.
Also want to welcome you to the SITS community!
Oh, I can soooo relate to this! When I went to the library last, we were signing my girls up for the summer reading program, the librarian asked if I wanted the paperwork for the “mom’s summer reading program” too. I just about laughed in her face. I thought it was very ironic. I loved to read too – but realize it’s along time away before I can enjoy a real good book. We are reading Goodnight Moon & One-asaurus, Two-asaurus at every nap & bedtime at our house!
Welcome to SITS btw!
I used to read when I was young and somewhere along the road to life, I simply stopped. I did start again with the Harry Potter series. The book my daughter used to love was The Monster at the End of the Book. (Which, of course, was Grover!) Stopping by from SITS
Stopping by from SITS to say Howdy…and oh sister, I am SOO feeling you! Love your kiddo reading list, though. We are just now getting into the Thomas the Train craze around here…it’s addictive to my boy’s brain!! Love your blog–I’ll have to dig around a little. I read your bio and am curious about your Nevada experience (I’m a Vegas girl myself). I’ll be back! =)
I might just have to steal Laurie’s ideas, I see a whole new line of storytots.com books!
Thank you so much! I forgot about Eye Spy … we’ll have to add that to our library!
Thank you, Sandy. I appreciate your stopping by. I’ll do the same for you!
Thank you! I appreciate your stopping by. I’ll be sure to visit your blog too!
My son is obsessed with Junie B Jones. That’s all he wants to read. I’m stuck in a Chuck Palhniuk phase right now. Love the title of your blog!
Visiting from SITS
Love to readddddddddddddddd!
Stopping by from SITS to share the blog ♥ !
Have a great Saturday!
Happy Sunday! I am making way through all of the comments I received when I was featured on SITS. It really is a great SITSahood.
Thank you so much for visiting me and have a blessed day!
Charlotte’s Web (which is a legitimate hand-me-down to my 6 year old daughter), Cowboy Camp, Cowboy’s don’t ride bikes, Marvin K. Mooney would you please go now…and Z Wars (if you like zombies and documentary-esque, short story-ish kind of books). Was able to finish it in about 6 weeks taking in a 2 pg chapter here and there. *sigh* I miss reading, I really freaking do..wait..I am reading this. So that’s where all of my extra time goes..*double freaking sigh**
Ack! I am dying to read, and yet…here I am when the kids are in bed. My daughter (2 3/4) was kind enough to want to read “I Love You, Mommy” tonight. BUT, don’t think girls get me off the hook with Thomas, trucks and things that go, “Screee”
It’s reading the same book over, and over and over that gets me …. I don’t mind soooo much if it’s a good book. But so much kid lit is just so boring. Or maybe that’s just what’s in our library!
You just reminded me of how thankful I am that my children (all three of them) love to read- to themselves! We’ve made it through the ‘bad times’ and now, because they all enjoy a good book as much as I do, can enjoy our lazy Sunday’s again. So just remember that there *is* hope- eventually, you’ll start reading again!
Hi. Loved this post (came via SheWrites). I have three boys and a girl. I know every brand of vehicle, how many wheels it has and what sound it makes. But don’t despair; there is some really great children’s literature that you will be able to read to your son as he gets just a little older. Children’s literature is fun to read because it goes quickly. You will also soon have lots of time during carpool for reading, as you wait in the car for that 20 minute trumpet lesson to be over, or wait in the preschool pickup line. Trust me, the reading may come in bits and spurts, but it will come.
Avoid at all costs reading anything by Richard Scary (OMG, it takes so long to read those stupid books), and “Go, Dog, Go” by PD Eastman, Dr. Suess’ alter ego. My kids loved that book and I hated it … all 12,435,861 times I read it.
I am right there with you! I have 3 boys and haven’t had time to read anything but childrens books lately either! We read every night though. My boys love books! Stopping by from SITS! Have a great day!
Found you through SITS…
I know what you mean, only in my case it translates to movies. My boyfriend’s daughter is with us every other weekend and it seems the ONLY movies we see these days are kids’ movies. Last weekend we went to see an adult movie by ourselves and WOW. Just to get previews that aren’t for 3-D this or Disney that is SO nice!
You’ve now reminded me that I have 3 books in the que that I haven’t touched yet.
I’m glad to have met you at BlogHer and am finally getting around to reading all of blogs I was introduced there. At least I am reading something.
I get the joy of reading Elmo books over and over and over and over and …. well you get the point. I don’t even need to open the books anymore. I have them all memorized. LOL
“If You Give A Moose A Muffin”
That is one of my most favorite books!!!
Found you on SITS
I have jean paul sartre, salman rushdie, Louis de Bernières and Arthur Golden sitting on my nightstand. They’ve been there for years now. I think green eggs and ham might be sitting on top of them…
but I can read the noodle paddle battle at top speed without faltering. Not many people can beat that!
Hi Norine! Stopping by to say thank you for visiting me on my SITS day last week! I love your profile blurb. ;o)
Holy cow, Seriously? I know, you’re busy- but I need a new post up in here, girlfriend! ;o)
I love to read and am a pretty voracious reader. A wonderful used book store is only two blocks from my office.
thanks, that was a nice post to go through, I look forward to reading more of your stuff
This is the first post of yours that I’ve read, and I already love you… but in an I’d lioke to read more” way, not a creepy stalker way. I know exactly what you mean, though I’m getting better at fitting reading into my day- during nap time (or those Thomas DVD’s), while I’m cooking, and yes, on the can. I adore reading- it’s like some kind of hypnosis, I swear.
Don’t knock Stephen King. He’s a better writer than most people give him credit for, especially in his more recent stuff- it’s got THEMES and everything! I don’t love everything he writes, but he’s certainly better than Danielle Steele or certain vampire books I’ve read.
Love the George Carlin… love the Sandra Boynton… so sick of the freaking TRUCK books.
Thank you Susan! I know I’m really tardy with replying … but I’m grateful for your comments and now I’ve found your wonderful blog too. I really enjoyed your post about bloggers v mommy bloggers.
And you’ll be thrilled I’m sure to know that we’ve ventured into the Captain Underpants realm … which we’ve read about a dozen times already! And Dave Pikey has a WHOLE SERIES!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog. And thank you for visiting mine.
THANK YOU! For giving me a good kick in the tush. Really. I’m workin’ on it!
Thank you!
I’m awed! That’s actually my favorite part.
Thanks for reading!