“Mommy–” came my five-year-old’s still-babyish little voice from the back seat.
“Mmmm?” I said distractedly, as I dug blindly in my bag for sunglasses while trying to buckle my seat belt and back the car out of the driveway at the same time.
The day had gotten off to a very late start – the result of my foolishly trying to squeeze in some pre-dawn writing before waking Fletcher for school. Naturally, I’d lost track of time …and the morning had been a frantic rush to drag my still-sleeping kid out of bed, hustle him into his clothes and force-feed him breakfast. We were finally in the car. I had about three minutes to make the 10-minute drive to school.
“Maaah-meee!” he tried again, impatiently, drawing the syllables out like taffy. His voice had the high-pitched whine that creeps in when he’s frustrated. “Maaah-meee! I have a question,” he insisted. “When we die, do we get to come back to life again?”
That got my attention. This wasn’t some random Can I get a Star Wars video game? question that he already knows the answer to – because it’s been No the last dozen times he’s asked … but he’s going to ask once more just to see if I change my mind. This was the kind of serious kid stuff you put your coffee down for. I turn around. His usually impish face is dark, and he’s holding his favorite stuffed toy tightly in his lap. What could have possibly put this in his head in the time it takes to walk from the kitchen to the car? Who knows. Kids’ emotions spin on a dime.
I turn off the car, unbuckle my seat belt and turn back to face him. Clearly, school will wait.
“Are you worried about dying? About Mommy and Daddy dying?” I ask, stalling for time. He nods as my brain scrambles to put together an appropriate response … thinking, thinking, thinking … How do I answer that?
To read more, please click here and follow me over to Lifescript’s Health Bistro blog, where I’m blogging today and the second Friday of every month on my misadventures in late-in-life parenthood.
Got a story about how you explained death and dying to your child? Please share it at the end of the post or below.
Photo credit: ollo
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